The King of NothingStats

I love statistics for what they cannot tell us, particularly polling statistics. My favorite NothingStat that gets trotted out from time to time is the "Wrong Track" poll, purported to measure the country's mood at the moment.

Although in analysis, the question is usually tied to follow up questions on the economy or other issues of personal interest, this is how the question reads:

"Do you feel things in this country are generally going in the right direction or do you feel things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track?"

That's it. With such quantifiable descriptives as "direction" "things" and "pretty seriously" the collective answer becomes a ready catalyst for a sort of panglossian pessimism.

Theoretically, if the country is going the "wrong" direction, this poll should give guidance on the "right" direction, yes?

No.

Anyone can answer the poll. And anyone does. Some will answer the nation is on the wrong track because of its culture of abortion, others will argue that it is on the wrong track because abortion rights are threatened. Some will answer the nation is on the railway to hell because of who is President at the time. Another because of Congress. Some might have just seen an episode of South Park. Some a rerun of Three's Company. Some might be furious at the local school board. Others might just have had their favorite crooner kicked off American Idol.

Everybody's right track is individualized, which is why it isn't surprising that anywhere from 65 to 80% of people never think we are on the right track. Because we aren't on theirs.

According to the lates measurement, only 19% of all Americans think the country is running exactly as it would were they in charge of it.

I'm surprised it is that high.

What do you do with a poll response like this? What can you do?

Nothing. It is a NothingStat. It is the Seinfeld of phone call polling. Nothing is its job. And it performs it famously. I think it may be onto something.

Easter Is Every Day, Even for Pagans

I have had a very respectful debate with some brothers and sisters for some time, on the question of Christian festivals and their "origins" in pagan worship/festivals.

Basically, good arguments against my position can be found all over. Most recently, the Factotum's Rostrum has an excellent one.

I simply, and respectfully, disagree.

To quote the author: "Eggs and bunnies have nothing to do with the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Our Lord Jesus Christ created eggs and bunnies. He was at the formation of the very first egg, which happens to contain a simple picture of the Trinity in its physical qualities. When I see a rabbit fly from its warren through the woods, I think first of God who made the creature, then of how I should take flight from sin.

Could there be a new earth (and new eggs and new rabbits) without the resurrection? No.

I realize that Easter is a word that has etymological origins in pagan practices. But ask anyone (other than a candy-starved child) what Easter means, and even a pagan will fumble around about it having to do something with Jesus' resurrection. (Don't take my word for it: a non-Christian author such as Neil Gaiman illustrated this tendency in spectacular fashion in a brief scene in his 2001 novel American Gods.)

The term "Easter" has been redeemed.

See, I'm a huge believer in Christian theft and greed. If there is something good, anything good at all, about anything in our culture, the Christian should be first on the scene, stealing it back for God's glory. We should be greedy for souls, engaging all men in a desperate struggle for their joy.
[I think of U2's cover of Helter Skelter: "Charles Manson stole this from the Beatles. We're stealin' it back."]

It may mean we get a little dirt on us. It may cause our brethren to confuse us for pagans. Heck, I may be wrong, and it may not work at all. But I will try, and here is why:

When I go on constant vigil to keep potential "non-Christian" influences out of my life, I lose my salt. I lose my passion. I successfully isolate myself from the troubles of this life, without ever once reaching out to reclaim them, or more importantly, the people who hold those things dear. Simply put, my Master didn't teach me to look at the things of this world as an obstacle course for which a medal was awarded to those who most successfully avoided touching anything. He taught me to put the things of this world to use. His use.

Engage. Play fair. Steal and be greedy. Leave nothing to the pagans for them to insulate themselves from having to deal with the gospel.

And Happy Easter. Always.

Rack and O-pinion Steering Me Wrong

Core beliefs lived out and publicly expressed?

What is this nonsense?

Don't these people know that opinions are for keeping to oneself and living quite contrary to without reflection?

This underscores the problem I have with modern humans. In the old days, I'd clamber through the woods, sniffing for Christian blood. When I caught wind of the little juicy buggers, they'd pray and fight (thus, the God and axe scars running down my face) as they went down.

Simple.

Today, however they get into a debate with me over my existence, telling me flat to my face that I don't exist, as if they don't believe in me! They feel my hot rancid breath* in their face, bear bruises from my battering, and insist that I'm not there.

The whole thing degenerates into a debate...a debate(!)...over things that neither my victim nor I believe for a minute. It is exhausting. I fall for it so frequently that I come home, more often than not, hungry, though I had easy spoils in my grasp not an hour before.

These humans, they entertain opinions. They do not hold them.

We beasts are forced, by our very nature, to live the beliefs we express (which is why we do not express them.) How did these humans figure out how to goof the system and invent duplicitousness?

Hrmph. The kicker is that they seem to miss fewer meals than I do.

*Yes, I've been reduced to Italian submarine sandwiches with onions, the people have been so elusive lately.