Held annually on the campus of Miskatonic University, the Lovecraftian Nickname Selection Committee goes through an arduous and painstaking (as well as pain-staking, if necessary) process to determine who, among the Heisman finalists, is worthy of a prestigious Eldritch(tm) Nickname.
The time of waiting has come to a close. This years selections include:
Tim "Yith" Tebow - Because he's not of this world.
Colt "Automatic" McCoy - Because all fled--all done, so lift me on the pyre--The Feast is over, and the lamps expire.
Toby "Jugg" Gerhart - Because he haunts Notre Dame to this day.
Mark "John Henry" Ingram - not just because he can hoist a jack, but, more importantly he set history to right.
Honorable mention: Dez "Danvers" Bryant - Because I’ve heard personally of more’n one business or government man that’s disappeared there.
And finally, our top vote-getter:
Ndamukong "Necronomicon" Suh - Because if he gets a read, you're dead.
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