Fear of Girls 3: High Rollers

Doug and Raymond are finally back with their continued quest to avoid meaningful human contact.

And Church.

Happily, they fail.







Looks like their venture paid off in the veritable bonanza of gaming glory that is Mohogo.com.

I've got to wonder if this is what Felicia Day went through?

PS - A new series seeking distribution, Midnight Chronicles, starring FoG's Charles Hubbell has some very cool trailers up now.

Fear of Hymns

Sometimes the Revised Troll Version (RTV) of God's Word results in awkward hymns. But enthusiasm counts for something.

Fear of Girls 3 Trailers

You may need major surgery.

After laughing so hard!

The Fear of Girls 3 trailer is engaging audiences around the county.



Tom Lommel, Scott Jorgenson and Charles Hubbell have reunited again, sort of like the James and Younger boys did in Northfield. Let's hope this adventure goes off just as splendidly! Perhaps pie will be served.

Truly, a milestone in Fantasy Gaming. For the first time in my life, my pants are diceless. Peew!

And, for you intrepid few (er, one) who has scrolled down this far, a wonderful demo of the game's character generation process.



(And yes, I meant "county.")

Fear of Girls 3 Wall Poster

Game on.

Okay, not so much a wall poster, and somewhat closer to a .jpg, but still. I haven't felt this way since I caught first glimpse in '77 of a bare-chested Luke and red carpet-ready Leia prepared for battle.*

Fear of Girls 3 is going to take the world by storm. It is the story of America. Told with dice. Through a retainer.

*and two fairly confused droids in the background.

Nothing to Fear but Fear of Girls 3

Fear of Girls 3 has entered post-production.* Tom Lommel, Scott Jorgenson and the versatile (and athletically lanky) Charles Hubbell reunite for a lonesome ride through the dark heart of nerdiness.

The powers that be say to expect release in August. Or so.

This episode is going to be the greatest one so far, just like all the third installments of American classics like Goldfinger, Army of Darkness, Naked Gun 33 1/3rd, The Godfather III, Superman III, Jaws 3-D and Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation.

I'll admit I haven't seen that last one, but, come on, it has the best of the Carradine brothers and Curtis Armstrong. Bob Younger and Herbert Viola? It can't miss.

*This is insider lingo which means, roughly, "I have no idea how movies are made, or the proper terminology necessary to fake it."

Scott Jorgenson Strikes Back Again...and Begins

Since I've officially declared myself the world headquarters of all things Scott Jorgenson, I would be remiss if I did not make you (that, is, me) aware of the new release of Fear of Girls 2.

If you've somehow missed Fear of Girls 1, you a) need to start living under a rock and b) should watch that one first. Because 1 comes before 2, except for the occasional 8-section puzzle inversion.

The second one, sadly, lacks the element of Christian parody that I loved so much in the first, but it makes up for it with a bunch of socially inappropriate gender issues.

Charles Hubbell (who played Doug Doug's older brother in the first, and portrayed the believer) is sadly absent, but I guess that keeps him from splitting the screen with eye-candy Tom Lommel.

In fact, Tom semi-personally (that is, not at all personally) asked me to send the link to FoG2 to all my friends. I have none, so I'm instead sending them to myself, via this posting. You can thank me (you) later.

FoG1
FoG2
FoG Universe at YouTube

Scott Jorgenson Dominates Planet (Mine)

Scott Jorgenson has achieved world domination.

First, the guy co-stars in the 2nd* greatest short film in world history: "Fear of Girls"

In FoG, he played Raymond Ractburger, a lovelorn hardcore gamer. FoG also features my favorite representation of Christians on film. I know I'm supposed to be offended by their awkward, judgmental portrayal, but the fact is that if it wasn't for awkward, judgmental Christians who cared enough about the weird little atheist that I was to share the gospel with me, God knows where I might be today. No, literally, God knows, and I'm pretty sure He's wiping his brow in relief over the few who took his message seriously enough to try to beat me over the head with it.

Anyhow, back to the issue of infinitely greater import than my salvation: Scott Jorgenson's film career.

This guy has already achieved greatness. Raymond Ractburger, pining for his unwitting Leia...his Arwen...his Shakura!...Ractburger is an American everyman, iconic, the Tom Joad of the X Generation, if you will.

But yesterday...I witnessed the great Jorgenson achieving new heights. You probably don't know this (okay, yes you do, because you are "me") but I work in the telecommunications industry. One of my all-time favorite novels is Harry Newton's 973-page Telecom Dictionary. (Bonus: My favorite entry is the hotly debated "octathorpe" AKA octothorpe, octotherp, octothorp.)

I don't work for Qwest by any stretch of the imagination, but I love to see my industry strive for greatness, even it it is in the form of a competitor. Qwest did such a thing.

For their latest ad, they hired Jorgenson. He's hilarious in a silent role.

Good show, Qwest. Good show.

Now learn how to spell. Your company name reads like a breakfast cereal.

*The #1 Slot going, of course, to Tater, Tomater.