Nerd Cred and Why You Have None

Just a memo to the planet: there is no reason to want to be a nerd, and 97% of people who claim to be nerds are, in fact, nerd posers. Pseudonerds, if you will.

Here's a little Jeff Foxworthy Anti-Matter to test your Nerd Credentials -

a) If you've ever, even once, had a photograph taken of you that looked "good", you are not a nerd.

b) If you are obsessed with a particular pasttime, such as photography or comic books, it is possible, though not certain that you have attained situational geek status (as in "camera-geek" or "comic-geek"), but a hobby does not make you a nerd (unless you trainspot. Then, congratulations.)

c) If you are interested in technology, even highly technical details of technology, you are probably not a nerd but are simply "gainfully employed."

d) You aren't a nerd if you have a viable interest in the opposite sex, an affinity for irony or can express oneself directly.

e) If being called a nerd doesn't hurt your feelings, then you aren't one.

f) If you think that you are a nerd, then you aren't one.

I know that all of the above is true because I'm not a nerd, but have an appreciation for true nerds, and a quiet disdain for those who pass themselves off as such.

Hence, my undying appreciation for the proper portrayal of the rare American nerd in the characters of Doug and Raymond.